Being a Geek

I'm still working on the "Extended Director's Cut" of my trip to Phoenix Comic Con. In the meantime, I had to share this, sent to me by my brother-in-law, Yoda:

 

This sums up my feelings so precisely I may never have to post anything else on my blog again. 

But I will.

Phoenix Comic Con: Limited Edition Extended Directors Cut

 In an effort to keep from rambling on and on, in my re-cap of the weekend, I edited out some things from my other entries, that I felt should be included in some way. These are:

• At one point, I was sitting next to a girl in a panel who was maybe early 40's, who just started talking to me about how she still lived with her parents, had never had a boyfriend, and loved her cat. During the conversation, I texted the following to Riker, who was in another panel with my husband: I've just met a girl who is the living of example of who I would be without 3of8. Plz hug him for me and say "Thank you for saving Jenny Lee from herself."

• I got some autographed books from Jon S. Lewis. We were in choir together in high school, and I recommend you read his books. Even though I probably stalked him in high school, he was very nice, and didn't call for security.

• I bought my very first comic books! I met the guys and gal from The Devastator, and they were so cute and fun and funny, that I had to go back and buy the "Cat Issue" and the "Choose Your Own Adventure." They appreciated that it was my very first comic book purchase (and subscription) and even gave me a free "Cat Hair Apocalypse" poster. I will treasure it always.

• We did get to go to the sold out "Story Time with Wil Wheaton" and that was super-fun! I think 3of8 was a bit surprised to find out he had so much in common with a guy he made fun of. I appreciated that WW stated he was in a "mixed marriage," which is a term I've used frequently to describe my marriage.

• I have to give special thanks to Riker, because after the Day 4 Burton fiasco, she was consoling me and said "Jenny has never taken a bad picture ever." While I don't think she's entirely accurate, I appreciate that she thinks so highly of me. This is one of the many reasons we have been friends for so long, and why she's my "Number One."

• Also, I need to give credit to my friend Anakin. I've known him since the 1st grade, and he is the one that suggested I come to Phoenix Comix Con, when we re-connected on Facebook. I'm really grateful to him for suggesting it, and I was so glad I got to see him, and meet his lovely wife Amidala, and his kids, Luke and Leia. (You so love the aliases I choose, don't you Anakin?) He is proof that Trekkies and Jedi can find common ground.

I'm sure I have more people to mention. When I remember, I will add them here, but I had to get this posted, because I got a "y u no update your blog?" from Yoda, and this had been sitting in my "drafts" for too long.

Phoenix Comic Con: Day 4 - Levar Burton is my Enemy

Day 4:
     Geek shirts worn: Parrises Squares, Warden of the North
     Nerdlacquer: Don't Panic
  
Somehow, we survived. I must admit that by the last day of Phoenix Comic Con, we were all a bit "nerded out." I had purposely planned a pretty light day, for this reason.

However, this was also an important day, as it was the day of my photo op with the  Star Trek: The Next Generation cast. (Just the ones that were at Phoenix Comic Con, obviously.)

My friend Data had purchased each of the individual shots. So, he has a picture with him and Marina Sirtis, and then another of him and Brent Spiner, etc. etc. He spent a lot of time running back and forth to the photo booth to get all of his photo ops in. I just had one shot, which means I had one shot to NOT look like an idiot. I felt this was the better way to go, so I could focus on experiencing the event, and not worry about always being photo-ready.

However, I'd been working since February to make sure I looked awesome. I even stuck to my Weight Watchers for two whole weeks without cheating. (Of course I gained it all back the first night we were in Phoenix, when we went to the Tilted Kilt.) I did a pre-con haircut to increase my odds of having a good hair day, (of course I didn't) and I coordinated my Nerdlacquer with my top. I even wore fancy shoes.

Data had coached me that they cranked everyone through so fast, that you didn't get talk to any of them, and they were really there as "set dressing." So, when the time came, I felt I had done all the prep work I could, and I was ready and focused. While in line, I practiced my pose: shoulders back, chin up, smile, and 3of8 did a last minute check before he got out of line and I went "behind the curtain" for my photo op.

Full of confidence from not embarrassing myself earlier in the week, and from convincing Brent Spiner to write the word "penis," I knew I had this in the bag. I was going to have the best picture of anyone else at the con, and possibly the entire world. There was a volunteer near the front of the line coaching everyone, "Stand there, smile, leave that way. Stand there, smile, leave that way." There was even a big square marked on the floor, so that you wouldn't miss your mark. 
As it got closer to my turn, I kept saying under my breath, "Stand there, shoulders back, chin up, smile, leave that way. Stand there, shoulders back, chin up, smile, leave that way." I could see everyone else getting their pictures, and with the exception of Brent Spiner chatting with Michael Dorn, pausing only long enough in his story to smile for each picture, no one else was speaking.Then, it was my turn. As I walked up chanting to myself "Stand there, shoulders back, chin up, smile, leave that way" Levar Burton looked right at me and said "Good Morning!" What. The. Hell?!?!? This was not expected. He had not said anything to anyone else, so why would he single me out to say "Good Morning?" It freaked me out, and my focus was gone. The only thought I could muster was a vague memory of Friday's panel where he reprimanded the audience for not saying "good morning" back. Of course, I could not have Levar Burton think I was being rude, so as I took my spot, and tried to remember what I should be focusing on, I said "Good mor.." CLICK!!!! That was it. It was over. Levar Burton sabotaged my photo op! I would expect something like that from Wil Wheaton or Brent Spiner, but LEVAR BURTON!?!?!? WHAT. THE. HELL!?!?!?

Here's the end result:

3of8 said it looks fine, but I think I look like some confused, insane person that wandered into the shot. All because Levar Burton had to be nice to me, and say "Good Morning."

If you ever get the chance to meet Levar Burton, please tell him that he is now my mortal enemy. But also tell him not to worry, it won't take up much of his time.

Phoenix Comic Con: Day 3 - The Most Awesome Thing Ever (in the history of things)

I present to you, dear reader, the most awesome thing in the history of all things:

Nothing else that happened on Day 3 is even close to being this freakin' awesome, so I'm just going to let you bask in the awesome glow of this total awesomness. Enjoy.

...and if you need an explanation, then you aren't watching Fresh Hell.

Phoenix Comic Con: Day 2 - Saving All of Time and Space

Day 2:
     Geek shirts worn: Live Fast, Die Red & Aluminum Falcon
     Blisters: 1
     Worst question: "What's your favorite episode?"
     Best question: "With the release of TNG on blu ray, are they going to fix the problem in season ___, 
          episode ____ where the torpedoes fire out of the phaser banks?"
     Best conversation overheard: Debate on the Klingon ridges.

Today the goal was autographs and Star Trek panels. My brother-in-law, Yoda, had sent me all of his TNG action figures. So, I brought the Troi, the Worf and the Data to be signed.

I decided that Marina Sirtis was the autograph I could not leave without, and that was the first line I got in. Actually, I started the line for her autograph...I was first. As it got closer and closer to her appearance, I realised my rookie mistake. I should have gotten in the Michael Dorn line, or let some others go first. But here I was in line for the most important signature, with no knowledge of how this works, or what everyone else was doing. Idiot! I started to panic. What would I say? Would she recognize that I liked her best, because I was first in her line? Suppose she was a jerk? What was I even doing here?

Fortunately, 3of8 stood in line with me, even though I had told him he didn't have to. When I started to hyperventilate and cry, he coached me through some "combat breathing." Breathe in while counting to 4, hold for 4, breathe out while counting to 4. There was nothing to be done about the crying...and yes, I'm serious. I cried. But only a little. I still felt ridiculous.

I'd like to say that butterflies held the curtain open for her and she appeared like an angel surrounded by woodland creatures drawn to her siren's song, but it was more like she burst through the curtain as if she was now in charge of the entire exhibit hall, and nobody better fuck with her. I found it kind of soothing, in a way. She cleared the table saying "I need more room, I've got like a billion photos...I'll just use some of Spiner's table. He's got like two." and she proceeded to carefully place all of her photos on her (and Spiner's) table. She looked up at me and said,"Sorry, I'm anal." as she arranged and rearranged her photos. To which I replied, "No worries, I'm totally OCD myself, so I understand the importance of proper placement and organization." In my head I was screaming "HOLY CRAP! I SPOKE TO HER, AND NOT ONLY DID I NOT EMBARRASS MYSELF, I FOUND COMMON GROUND WITH MARINA FUCKING SIRTIS!!! I CAN TOTALLY DO THIS!"

Her handler summoned me over and asked what I wanted her to sign, but before I could answer, Ms. Sirtis held up a finger and said "hold on" to me, and started to talk to the handler. I turned to 3of8 and whispered, "She just yelled at me! SQUEEE!!!!"

Finally, it was time. From what I can remember of the conversation, it went something like this:

MS: Who should I make this out to?

ME: Jenny Lee. My mom is from the south and I have one of those weird, southern, two word first names. (OK, she probably didn't need to know all that.)

As she was signing my Counselor Troi action figure (and yes, I get the irony of a psychiatrist "action" figure) I added,"My brother-in-law gave me his action figures when I finally came out of the turbo lift and admitted I was a trekkie." 

MS: (giggles)Thank you for waiting.

ME: I waited 37 years for this, what’s a few more minutes?

MS: Well it was lovely to meet you, love.

ME: You too! Thank you!

I then got in the Micheal Dorn line, which was much less eventful.

MD: Who should I make this out to?

ME: (Holding up Troi action figure, with my name spelled correctly.) Jenny Lee (I'd like to mention here that the guys from FanboyHQ had stressed the importance of not putting away your autograph until it was dry. I cannot thank them enough for that valuable advice!)

MD: Well here you go!

ME: Thank you. And I mean "thank you" for all of your work on Star Trek. I really enjoyed it.

MD: It was my pleasure.

I did it. Nothing too horrifying and embarrassing. I feel like I did the right thing, by not trying too hard to stand out (except for a few "blips") and what I got was the autographs that I wanted, and a warm, fuzzy memory that I could enjoy without embarrassment. Mission accomplished.

Data and Riker had saved us seats for the Levar Burton panel, and we just camped out there all day. Levar Burton was nice, but that was before he became my "mortal enemy." Everyone asked him about "Reading Rainbow" and I learned that the visor was actually screwed into his head! Marina Sirtis was a fireball, and I think I love her more. Unfortunately, I was all prepared to step up to the mic and ask her a question, but I was "scooped" by someone asking the same question. Michael Dorn was lovely too. I liked that they all told off the self-important bloggers, but each made a point of thanking the true fans.

We also sat through the women of sci-fi with Dina Meyer (Starship Troopers), Salli Richardson-Whitfield (Eureka), Debrah Farentino (Eureka) and ERIN FUCKING GRAY!!!! (And if you don't know which sci-fi show she was in, you are banned from my blog. Seriously. Banned.) That was a surprisingly fun panel.

At some point, while in line at women's restroom, I had to break up a fight between a Dr. Who and a TARDIS. The Doctor was having some suspender issues, and asked her TARDIS to help clip them on in the back. During this maneuver, the metal clip broke.

Doctor: OMG!!! YOU BROKE MY SUSPENDERS!!!

TARDIS: I did not! I was trying to help, and the clip broke.

Doctor: YOU RUINED MY COSTUME!!!

TARDIS: It's fine. Your jacket will cover it!

Doctor: OMG! I worked so hard, and you ruined it!

TARDIS: I was trying to help!

I finally stepped in, asked if anyone had a safety pin, and fixed the Doctor's suspenders. I'm pretty proud of my role in preventing a disruption in all of time and space, though I wonder if it turned out so well in the alternate universe.

        *I'm calling him "Yoda," 'cause he's my geek guru, and he helped me prepare for my first con. Yes, I know that Yoda is from Star Wars. I thought it was clear that I do not discriminate. Besides, it's my blog and I say it's o.k.

Phoenix Comic Con: Day 1 - Beauty and the Bat'leth

I did it. I survived my first Comic Con. And, it's definitely NOT my last! It really was the funnest fun I've ever had.

3of8 and I got to Phoenix around 3ish on the first day of the convention, which started that night. My friend Data* had arrived earlier, and had already picked up his pass. "I was in line behind two ghostbusters," he texted. It was then that I knew this would be everything I'd hoped and dreamed.

I gathered my nerds, and 3of8, Riker, Data and I came up with a plan. First pass of of the exhibit hall, and then to the first session. My first purchase was a fuzzy pink monster back pack, from the Framptastic booth. Later, I told 3of8 to put something "in my furry pink monster," which obviously led to an ongoing joke.

One of the goals of the whole event was to get a bat'leth. We were shocked to discover that very few of the booths had any. We finally found the one place that had one, and the moment I held it, I knew it was meant to be. It was awesome, and it was to be mine. I'm pretty sure this is what happened the first time King Arthur held Excalibur. "I look fierce!" I said, earning my first <facepalm> of the weekend from 3of8.

Riker and 3of8 went to "Quark's Bar" to learn how to mix sci fi drinks. I insisted that my husband attend this, because at the "Star Trek Experience" in Vegas, he totally humiliated me by ordering a "blue beer." (It was a Cardassian Ale.) While I don't expect him to become an expert, I do expect he not embarrass me when we hang with the geeks. That's not asking too much, is it?

Data and I went to "How to Survive Comic Con" presented by Martin and Jose. I found it helpful, but was a little disturbed by how much they emphasized hygiene. They have the 5-2-1 rule: 5 hours sleep, 2 good meals, and 1 shower a day. They really focused on the showering, and went so far as to say "Deodorant is important." They even gave a demonstration as to how to put on Axe body spray. (I'm happy to report that 3of8 does apply his AXE correctly.) Later in the week, when surrounded by geeks on the third day of wearing their costume, I understood where this was coming from.

So, we went back to the exhibit hall, got my bat'leh, and headed back to the hotel for our very important minimum 5 hours of sleep and a shower. Apparently, a blond woman (who kinda looks "soccer mom-ish") carrying a bat'leth does draw some attention. Probably because I was carrying it blade out, until 3of8 developed some "safety procedures" for me. (Surprisingly, bat'leths do not come with a manual.) I did scare some flight attendants on the elevator up to the room, but no one was injured. The real irony is that 3of8 was the first to be injured on my bat'leth, when he burnt himself removing it from the NTRPRZE after it had been sitting in the hot Arizona sun all day. He is the worst Klingon ever.

Day one was a good warm up, for the main event. I was feeling good, and had accomplished one of my comic con goals. Game on.

*Like Data, he always has perfectly coiffed hair.


Day 1:
     Geek shirts worn: Planet Express, Slurm, Meh
     Nerdlacquer: All of time and Space
     Best Quote:
           Me: I want to get a picture of each of my geek shirts.
           3of8: I knew we should have brought a documentary crew.
     Favorite costume seen: Q