My dad and I always toyed with the idea of going to the Star Trek Convention every time it came to Phoenix. We never did. I was still closeted about my passion for the Trek, and back then, it was best to lay low, and NEVER admit publicly that you liked Star Trek, or video games, or astronomy, or anything dubbed "uncool." In many ways, Chell and her friends have it WAY better than I did.
And in many ways, I'm sure she suffers just as much for her passions. Lately, there's been a lot of drama in the geek world about the "fake geek girl." Some guys are protesting that women who pretend to be interested in sci-fi, comic books, gaming, and other geek past times are just "faking it" so they can dress up sexy and tease the geeks.
I've addressed this several times in my blog, and come to terms that there will always be a double standard. And, don't fool yourself into thinking that geek guys are the only ones who are bullied, teased, and afraid to be who they are. Geek girls get the same treatment, but not just from the non-geeks, but also from the guys who actually share their same passions. Essentially, as geek oriented girls, we get shut out of all worlds. This "fake geek girl" drama is just another way of shaming women, and telling us we "don't belong."
Many women find that when they finally get the courage to come out of the turbolift, there's a test. It's as if we are not allowed to declare our passion for something, unless we know more about the product than the people who created it. I sometimes feel like I'm expected to call upon the ghost of Gene Roddenberry every night, and ask him about his inner most thoughts before I can declare myself a Trekkie. If I were a guy, I could probably get away with watching that "tribbles" episode, and call it good.
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| Source: sailorsway (aka Meghan Danger) |
There seems to be the assumption that a true geeky woman is only that way becuase she's trying to impress someone. Since my husband is not a geek (he's a "Deadhead") this is obviously not the case. I'm nerd-y, because I am. Many other women are nerd-y, intelligent, fangirls, because they are. The sooner this is accepted, the sooner we can just move on and geek out over the things we love.
I think part of the problem is that we are all so used to being bullied and rejected, that it becomes standard for us to proclaim "I don't have a girlfirend / boyfriend because no one shares the same interests I do." If geek guys had to admit that there are women who actually did share the same level of passion for the same things that they enjoy, they might actually have to get up the courage to ask her out, and even risk rejection. For those of us who spent our formative years being rejected, it's just too big a risk.
So, I sympathise with the men who are threatened by the women who are now confident enough to enter the geek culture, but I ask them also to maybe cut us a little slack. As women, we know what it is like to be shut out of things, so you don't have to work that hard to make us feel your pain. In fact, most women are pretty much experts at having the provervbial door shut in our faces, in many areas of our lives, and many of us have developed some great coping techinques which, ironically, has given us the courage to join the geek world. You could actually learn something from geek girls!
And for the many, many men who have welcomed us into this world (and not in a perv-y way), I applaud you. There's room enough for all kinds of nerds in the galaxy, and I thank you for recognizing that.
Until we can just all get along, and have some empathy for each other, I'm painfully aware that I will always be the "token female" in fleet, my Starfleet uniform will always be considered a pathethic attempt to "fit in with the boys" and I will forever hear the words "Is that your husband's bat'Leth?" But, I have hope for the up and coming geek girls, like Chell, that are breaking through these imaginary force fields and boldly going where I wish I had gone before.
My geek flag is pink, girly, and "Scottsdale Fierce," and I will waive it proudly, right alongside yours.
*Portal is her thing, so we'll call her "Chell" after the main character in Portal.
